I bleed from the inside
My organs fill up and choke, suffocated by blood, starving for oxygen.
Now it threatens to overtake my mind.
Each vessel leaks its own toxic mix of blood and bile.
When you bleed from the inside you bleed alone.
There is no bandage to help stop the bleeding
I try to apply pressure, but I can’t find the source
I will die from this
Every day is more of the same
The same self-hate, the same hell, the same anxiety and fear and restlessness
I wish I could want to die because then the bleeding would stop
I hold onto life and let everything else around me go
It is a pathetic sob story, wasting time
So I hope to bleed faster now, until I don’t feel a thing
Then finally the skin will feel soft, my scars will fade away
I will wake up, bathed in light and love and the warming hands of my creator.
photo credit: (Sarah Robinson)
