Feeling Good About The Way You Look Archives

Sleep, the Secret Elixir to Feeling Better About Your Body

August 7, 2015 By Stephen

It sounds like a terrible cliché’, hell even the image attached to this post is. Honestly, I rarely sleep like this guy, all curled up so nicely on his pillow without a care in the world, but when I do, it’s pure bliss.

One way to avoid being terribly disappointed in yourself is to get some sleep.

Part of the ups and downs of body image disorders is a tendency to stay awake.

Some of this has to do with anxiety and I have noticed when I am feeling the most vulnerable I tend to box up and try to focus on something so that I can forget about my nose or my cheek.

Also, still for some reason outside of the house I meet me my enemy, and my love – the open light source that exposes all my imperfections.

So if I can I will retreat into the safety of indoors.

I find the freedom I seek outdoors by being alone, it removes the anxiety and I can get in touch again with nature.

Last night I stayed up till 3 am again after boxing myself up for 24 hours while being extremely productive.

My wife took the kids for a couple of days to spend time with my mother in law so I can get away with this, also I was able to sleep in for the first time in a long time.

I woke up feeling refreshed and ready for my coffee.

We all know sleep is restorative, but it is hard to pay it its due diligence when we are depressed and anxious.

Try sleep I say every night.

Tonight I will try to call a good friend and get to bed before 1 am.

The sleep always makes a difference.

Body Dysmorphic Disorder – Cognitive Behavioral Therapy – Exposure Worksheet

November 4, 2012 By Stephen

Here is the exposure worksheet I adapted from Feeling Good about the Way You Look: A Program for Overcoming Body Image Problems.

I have included an example of a completed CBT exposure worksheet below as well.

I hope to complete some of these exercises on line over the next several weeks. If you happen upon this post feel free to do one of these exposure worksheets with me in the comments section. I will be happy to help.

Exposure Worksheet – Cognitive Behavioral Therapy for BDD

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Completed Exposure Worksheet Sample – Cognitive Behavioral Therapy for BDD

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I you haven’t already, please read and follow the guidelines from Feeling Good about the Way You Look: A Program for Overcoming Body Image Problems.

It is an amazing book that I recommend along with counseling. It may work well alone if you are highly motivated and organized!

Hopeful – Using Cognitive Behavioral Techniques to Test My Body Image Concerns

November 4, 2012 By Stephen

After last nights depressing, over-tired post, today turned out to be a good day.

I have been going to church again, mostly for the kids, so that they may know God and understand that somebody may have their back in the bad times, and the good ones.

This has helped me through my BDD, and I figure it is best that they have God’s love to guide them as well.

Going to church helped to get me out of the house, my bedroom and my mind. Writing here on this blog is a lonely outlet, at the end of the day the only way to overcome my BDD is in the presence of others.

It is among others that I can prove (or more likely disprove) my many skin concerns.

Today, sitting in church, in full light, close to people, I could see that no one cared. My facial scar in full view may or may not have caught the attention of others who, in all honesty, seemed to care less. They were more concerned about what I had to say, and I am more concerned about what they have to say.

I feel good when I am out, yes I feel anxious, and yes, I feel self conscious but, at the end of the day, being out and about always has a positive net effect on my attitude.

I stayed after church to sit and write in the open air cafe, afterwards I attended a waffle party with some families that attend my daughters school. One of the dads commented on how he hadn’t seen me around (my daughter just started Kindergarten in October) and I made up some sorry excuse about late nights at work.

Honestly, there is no reason to tell others of my body image concerns. I know my wife was happy to see me there, as were my kids.

Face your Fear and it will Disappear?

My fears have not disappeared But today, out and about, at church, at a party, out on the bike, this afternoon, I started to feel better.

It is hard to believe how I can be on the edge of destruction one moment, and feeling so good the next. This is the nature of the beast when it comes to body dysmorphic disorder. My moods rise and fall like the ocean tides.

Moral of the story: Getting out and being around people is a known cure for depression which, I have along with my BDD. The Lexapro hasn’t seemed to help as much as I would have liked, but then again I need to increase my dose but haven’t been able to in fear of (believe it or not) what the pharmacist will think. This is incredibly irrational and is further proof why I shouldn’t be treating and prescribing for myself.

I skipped my first counseling session this week because I am a coward, and I was tired of talking about my scar.

I wrote a lot here and started to work a bit more on my art. I spent time with my children, I took my wife out on a date, I did avoid the mirrors and I had my wife take the one down at the front door… The last one I see as I head out of the house, it has been known to change my attitude pretty quickly.

My wife continues to be an amazing support of my BDD . She doesn’t give me a bad time about some of my avoidance rituals. She seems to understand what I am going through right now, I am so thankful for that.

I am exhausted, but I made some positive steps this week. My facial scar is hurting me today, I am not sure how much of that is in my mind. But maybe it is because I stretched it today, I showed it to the world, I overcame some fears. And I lived to see another day.

Accept Life as it is to Overcome BDD: There is Endless Futility in Regret and Worry

November 3, 2012 By Stephen

There is a principle in Daoism that may very well hold the key to happiness: “All Things Change.” Today when I was in the mirror lamenting my body image concerns I found this poem. I think it speaks highly to BDD and is a lesson in the futility of regret and worry. For me, it is also an extremely hard pill to swallow.

Life as it is – by Ralph Marston

Whatever may happen, there is no need for dismay.

Always, there is the opportunity to creatively and successfully deal with the things life sends your way.

There’s nothing to be gained by wishing that things had turned out differently.

Pick yourself up, connect with the energy of your passion, put a smile on your face and move forward with what is.

Your best choice is always to be your best. And you can’t be your best when you’re complaining or regretting or worried or dismayed.

Every situation generates a new set of positive possibilities. So in every situation, choose to see those possibilities and to enthusiastically follow them.

Each setback is just another step toward getting where you have chosen to go.

Learn, adapt, re-commit, and get quickly back on track.

Every twist and turn in the road of life gives you the opportunity to make a difference. Relish those opportunities, make the most of them, and build a magnificent life.

– Ralph Marston

What Are Your Thoughts and Beliefs about Your Appearance?

November 2, 2012 By Stephen

If you have severe appearance concerns, you might think others notice your flaw and are repelled by it.

I worry that anyone I talk to will look at my defect, and then I feel ashamed of it. I’m extremely suspicious of compliments, maybe that is why I hardly ever get them.

I tend to think others are talking and laughing about my flaw.

The other day when I walked out of a store and noticed two individuals of the opposite sex looking in my direction and giggling. I immediately thought, “They must be laughing about my scar.” If I can’t stop thinking about my scar, I reasoned, how could anyone else?

Even though I had no evidence to support this assumption, I spent the rest of the afternoon feeling sad and discouraged.

“I am on the inside as I am on the outside”

Many people also assume that the defect they’re sure they have is a visible manifestation of some character flaw.

Personal worth and physical appearance become commingled and confused.

When I look at my scar in the mirror I tend to think I look “really ugly and mean.” How I am on the inside, that’s how I look on the outside: bad and repulsive.

If you hold similar beliefs about the relationship of appearance and self-worth, you’re really in trouble when you think your appearance is imperfect.

As a result, you might feel sad or anxious and start to avoid social activities. Or you might engage in all kinds of activities to fix whatever you consider the appearance problem to be.

That’s where I am: locked inside my mind, stuck behind me scar, unavailable to the world, to my children, and to my wife. Afraid of the “ugly man I see”… too afraid to look in the mirror… too afraid of what I’ll see.