One of the hardest parts of overcoming BDD is that it is extremely hard to separate reality from my distorted self-images.
Even if I know my self-image is distorted it often doesn’t make a difference.
All the self-help books advise family members to avoid providing reassurance against a perceived image flaw.
I understand why this is the case and it makes sense. I advised my wife to do the same thing.
But upon returning home, dealing with my new facial scar over the last 1.5 months, nothing was better than having my mother-in-law stop and take time to tell me that my face was still beautiful. And you know what? I could tell she meant it.
I had been traumatized by several comments that were made a few weeks ago by a colleague in response to the healing of my facial scar.
This stuck to my ribs, and is one of the reasons I fell into a deep depression. My mother-in-law really helped by giving me something else to frame my thoughts.
Reaffirmations
I think affirmation from loved ones in this case was exactly what I needed.
I know the books say not to do this, but I think to a certain degree well-timed affirmations can help people with BDD.
One thing we need to work on is accepting compliments when we get them. Also it is better if we don’t seek them out. Not needing to hear these positive affirmations over and over again… Also believing people when they say things that they really mean.
I am thankful then for this gift from my mother-in-law, whose opinion means a lot to me. Who has helped me see that maybe some of my body image concerns just may be my own delusion.
