I bleed from the inside

My organs fill up and choke, suffocated by blood, starving for oxygen.

Now it threatens to overtake my mind.

Each vessel leaks its own toxic mix of blood and bile.

When you bleed from the inside you bleed alone.

There is no bandage to help stop the bleeding

I try to apply pressure, but I can’t find the source

I will die from this

Every day is more of the same

The same self-hate, the same hell, the same anxiety and fear and restlessness

I wish I could want to die because then the bleeding would stop

I hold onto life and let everything else around me go

It is a pathetic sob story, wasting time

So I hope to bleed faster now, until I don’t feel a thing

Then finally the skin will feel soft, my scars will fade away

I will wake up, bathed in light and love and the warming hands of my creator.

photo credit: (Sarah Robinson)