It’s never time to let go.
No matter how shitty, painful, miserable and hopeless you feel.
You must choose life.
It is possible to live in pain, you just do it.
Doesn’t mean it’s easy!
But what is the other option?
Life is precious, beautiful, fragile and very short.
If you stop and ask yourself what is the worst possible outcome of any given situation? The answer of course is “I could die”.
Humiliation won’t kill you.
I think the most miserable part of suffering with BDD is the feeling of constant anxiety.
And the whole thing is complete and utter bull shit if you stop and think about it.
The things that make us anxious are usually fears about how the world or other people will perceive us. That somehow in our imperfect state we are unworthy of love. Even the King of Pop couldn’t bear it any longer.
That’s just great, but who is going to tell that to his children?
I have a patient, he is 25 and suffers from Cerebral Palsy. He is in a wheelchair, he can’t walk, he can’t clean or wipe himself, he can’t push his own chair and to add insult to injury he can’t talk. Then one day somebody at Stanford mounted a computer on his chair which allowed him to communicate with the one good arm he has.
Who knew he was not only hilarious, but bilingual and absolutely brilliant? He is also one of the happiest people I know, which makes me joyful around him because if anybody has a good reason to want to off themselves it is him.
I love seeing him in the clinic, after these visits I understand the meaning of happiness and the good life.
Living with BDD can be hell, but nobody ever said life was going to be easy.
Life, even in its most miserable state is better than death, because without life, you are no longer conscious, which may be less painful in the short run, but life, is not yours to take, even your own.
And in death we feel nothing, which is worse than being alive, even in its most painful state.
In caring for the ones we love we don’t “owe” them anything I guess, but if we love them, we will protect our lives. Our children, our friends, our family.. If we care for them we work hard for them and we suffer for them. This may involve some pain, but like I said: it is possible to live in pain.. You just do it.
And at the end of the day, all the fears, the anxiety, the state of despair over our appearance comes down to fear of what the world is going to think of us, how we will be perceived. Even if we have love it is hard to fathom we are lovable. But, we all are lovable. We know others’ opinions don’t matter, beauty despite what the makers of beauty products and TV commercials try to tell us has nothing to do with our complexion. Just ask my patient.
We are beautiful people, we just need to believe it! And if this is painful, it’s OK, we can live in pain.. We just do it.
