BDD SUCKS

Overcoming Body Dysmorphic Disorder - My Story of Living With BDD

"It’s not what you look at that matters, it’s what you see."
~ Henry David Thoreau

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This is the Story of My Life Living With Body Dysmorphic Disorder

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What is Body Dysmorphic Disorder (BDD)?

November 3, 2015 By Stephen

Body dysmorphic disorder is characterized by preoccupation with ≥ 1 perceived defects in physical appearance that are not apparent or appear only slight to other people.

The preoccupation with appearance must cause clinically significant distress or impairment in social, occupational, academic, or other aspects of functioning. And at some point, patients must repetitively and excessively perform ≥ 1 behaviors (eg, mirror checking, comparing their appearance with that of other people) in response to the preoccupation with appearance. Diagnosis is based on history. Treatment consists of drug therapy (specifically, SSRIs or clomipramine), psychotherapy (specifically, cognitive-behavioral therapy), or both.

Body dysmorphic disorder usually begins during adolescence and may be somewhat more common among women. At any given point in time, about 2% of people have the disorder.

Symptoms and Signs

Symptoms may develop gradually or abruptly. Although intensity may vary, the disorder is thought usually to be chronic unless patients are appropriately treated. Concerns commonly involve the face or head but may involve any body part or any number of parts and may change from one part to another over time. For example, patients may be concerned about thinning hair, acne, wrinkles, scars, vascular markings, color of their complexion, or excessive facial or body hair. Or they may focus on the shape or size of the nose, eyes, ears, mouth, breasts, buttocks, legs, or other body part. Men (and rarely women) may have a form of the disorder called muscle dysmorphia, which involves preoccupation with the idea that their body is not sufficiently lean and muscular. Patients may describe the disliked body parts as looking ugly, unattractive, deformed, hideous, or monstrous.

Patients usually spend many hours a day worrying about their perceived defects and often mistakenly believe that people take special note of or mock them because of these defects. Most check themselves often in mirrors, others avoid mirrors, and still others alternate between the 2 behaviors.

Other common compulsive behaviors include excessive grooming, skin picking (to remove or fix perceived skin defects), reassurance seeking (about the perceived defects), and clothes changing. Most try to camouflage their perceived defects—eg, by growing a beard to hide perceived scars or by wearing a hat to cover slightly thinning hair. Many undergo dermatologic, dental, surgical, or other cosmetic treatment to correct their perceived defects, but such treatment is usually unsuccessful and may intensify their preoccupation. Men with muscle dysmorphia may use androgen supplements, which can be dangerous.

Because people with body dysmorphic disorder feel self-conscious about their appearance, they may avoid going out in public. For most, social, occupational, academic, and other aspects of functioning are impaired—often substantially—because of their concerns about appearance. Some leave their homes only at night; others, not at all. Social isolation, depression, repeated hospitalization, and suicidal behavior are common.

The degree of insight varies, but it is usually poor or absent. That is, patients genuinely believe that the disliked body part probably (poor insight) or definitely (absent insight) looks abnormal, ugly, or unattractive.

Diagnosis Clinical criteria

Because many patients are too embarrassed and ashamed to reveal their symptoms, the disorder may go undiagnosed for years. It is distinguished from normal concerns about appearance because the preoccupations are time-consuming and cause significant distress, impairment in functioning, or both.

Diagnosis is based on history. If the only concern is body shape and weight, an eating disorder may be the more accurate diagnosis (see Anorexia Nervosa); if the only concern is the appearance of sex characteristics, a diagnosis of gender dysphoria may be considered (see Gender Identity Disorder and Transsexualism).

Criteria include the following:

  • Preoccupation with one or more perceived defects in appearance that are not observable or appear slight to others
  • Performance of repetitive behaviors (eg, mirror checking, excessive grooming) in response to the appearance concerns
  • The preoccupation causes significant distress or impairs social, occupational or other areas of functioning

Treatment

SSRIs and clomipramine

Cognitive-behavioral therapy

Certain antidepressants, including SSRIs (see Selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs)) and clomipramine (a tricyclic antidepressant with potent serotonergic effects), are often very effective. Patients often require higher doses than are typically needed for depression and most anxiety disorders.

Cognitive-behavioral therapy that is tailored to the specific symptoms of body dysmorphic disorder is currently the psychotherapy of choice. Cognitive approaches and exposure and ritual prevention are essential elements of therapy. Clinicians have patients face situations they fear or avoid while refraining from performing their rituals. Because most patients have poor or absent insight, motivational interviewing is often needed to increase their willingness to participate and stay in treatment.

Many experts believe that combining exposure and ritual prevention with drug therapy is best for severe cases.

Source: The Merck Manual

Filed Under: Diagnosis of Body Dysmorphic Disorder (BDD)

Selfie

October 22, 2014 By Stephen

I was at the falls with my kids.

The sun was pouring through the mist, the emerald green of the trees and bouncing of  the lichen… it was spectacular.

I snapped some shots of the kids and then my daughter asked me to take a “selfie.”

So I leaned down and flipped the camera lens on my iPhone.

I am already in the habit of avoiding eye contact with the LCD screen.

I held it as far away as my arm could reach and I snapped two shots.

My daughter, as any 7 year old would, wanted to see our smiling portrait.

So I flipped around my phone, and tried not to look, but then I couldn’t stop myself. My eyes zeroing in on the biopsy scar on my nose.

My demons won’t leave me alone

I took my daughters hand, it felt so warm and cuddly and small.

We walked up the circular trail to meet my wife and son who had gone up a few moments earlier to use the restroom.

I started to feel the scars, my nose, my cheek. I said I had to go the restroom (although not really) I had to check a mirror to see if it really was like the picture registered it. It felt to me like they were transforming, possibly growing.

The lighting was better in the bathroom, I quickly put my cap back on my head.

We made it to the car, where I saw in the window my reflection with the deep sunken scar on my cheek.

And then I fell apart inside, I felt despair, helplessness and hopelessness.

I started to feel anger toward the dermatology PA who cut my nose apart, I felt anger at myself for going surfing and not protecting my face when I surfaced.

I started to feel ugly, monstrous, and it hasn’t gone away. I feel my scars again tonight.

Santa Clause is coming to town

I dream of waking up one day with these scars gone.

Going back to my previous life when they weren’t part of my life.

If I could just live in that person’s body for a couple days, I promise I wouldn’t take it for granted.

But we don’t know what we have till it’s gone, and then it is too late.

When I woke up today in the cabin and used the restroom I glanced in the mirror. The restroom was poorly lit, without direct overhead lighting and because of this, my  sunken scars looked fine, I felt good about myself.

Then the camera revealed the truth? Or is this a deception. I just don’t know anymore.

* PS, I found this Wikipidea entry when I was Googling how to spell “selfie: In April 2014, a man diagnosed with body dysmorphic disorder recounted spending ten hours a day attempting to take the “right” selfie, attempting suicide after failing to produce what he perceived to be the perfect selfie.[66] The same month brought several scholarly publications linking excessive selfie posting with body dysmorphic disorde

Filed Under: Diagnosis of Body Dysmorphic Disorder (BDD), Facial Scar, Overcoming Body Dysmorphic Disorder Tagged With: BDD, Body Dysmorphic Disorder, selfie

How do I Know if I Have BDD? Body Dysmorphic Disorder Test – The BDDQ

November 5, 2012 By Stephen

BDD is Fairly Common

How Common Is BDD?

Studies Have Found That BDD Occurs in Approximately . . . .

  • 1%–2.4% of adults in the general population .
  • 2.2%–13% of students.
  • 13%–16% of patients who are psychiatrically hospitalized.
  • 14%–42% of outpatients with atypical major depression.
  • 11%–12% of outpatients with social phobia.
  • 3%–37% (average of 17%) of people with obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD).
  • 39% of hospitalized patients with anorexia nervosa.
  • 9%–14% of patients seeking treatment from a dermatologist.

BDD is Under-recognized

Health care professionals, however, often overlook BDD. As a result, BDD sufferers may not find out that they have the disorder, and treatment may not succeed because it doesn’t target BDD. In the two studies of psychiatric inpatients, none of the patients who had BDD had raised their BDD symptoms with their doctor or received the diagnosis while in the hospital.

In a study of 200 people with BDD, more than half of those who’d been treated with psychiatric medication had never revealed their BDD symptoms to their doctor, even though their symptoms were a major problem. Other studies have similarly found that BDD usually goes undiagnosed, even among people who are receiving mental health treatment.

Secrecy and Shame

BDD is often a secret disorder. Sufferers don’t reveal their appearance concerns, and health professionals often don’t ask. Many patients I’ve seen have never mentioned their appearance concerns to anyone at all, not even their spouse or closest friend. And many who’ve been in treatment with a mental health professional haven’t revealed their symptoms, even though they’re a serious problem. It takes courage to mention BDD concerns and discuss them with someone else.

Many people with BDD are too ashamed to raise their appearance concerns. If a friend, family member, or health care professional doesn’t ask if the person has such concerns, the sufferer may not reveal them. Reasons for secrecy and shame include the following:

  • Fear of being negatively judged. BDD can be confused with vanity, and some sufferers worry they’ll be considered superficial, silly, or vain, so they keep their worries to themselves;
  • Worry that once the perceived defect is mentioned, others will notice it and scrutinize it even more, causing more embarrassment and shame;
  • Fear that disclosure of the worry will be met with reassurance that the BDD sufferer looks fine.

Many people with BDD interpret this response to mean that they were foolish to have mentioned it, or that their emotional pain isn’t being taken seriously or understood—and they may not mention it again.

You can download this questionnaire in MS Word or PDF format here.

Screening Questions for BDD – The Body Dysmorphic Disorder Questionnaire (BDDQ)

You’re likely to have BDD if you give the following answers on the BDDQ:

  • Question 1: Yes to both parts
  • Question 3: Yes to any of the questions 
  • Question 4: Answer b or c 

Body Dysmorphic Disorder Questionnaire (BDDQ) for Adults

Name  ___________________________________

This questionnaire assesses concerns about physical appearance. Please read each question carefully and circle the answer that best describes your experience. Also write in answers where indicated.

Are you very concerned about the appearance of some part(s) of your body that you consider particularly unattractive?   Yes   No

  • If yes: Do these concerns preoccupy you? That is, you think about them a lot and wish you could think about them less?   Yes   No
  • If yes: What are they?___________________________________
    • Examples of areas of concern include: your skin (e.g., acne, scars, wrinkles, paleness, redness); hair (e.g., hair loss or thinning); the shape or size of your nose, mouth, jaw, lips, stomach, hips, etc.; or defects of your hands, genitals, breasts, or any other body part.
  • If yes: What specifically bothers you about the appearance of these body part(s)? (Explain in detail): ___________________________________

If you answered “No” to either of the above questions, you are finished with this questionnaire. Otherwise please continue.

Is your main concern with your appearance that you aren’t thin enough or that you might become too fat?   

  • Yes
  • No

What effect has your preoccupation with your appearance had on your life?

  • Has your defect(s) caused you a lot of distress or emotional pain?   Yes   No
  • Has it significantly interfered with your social life?   Yes   No
  • If yes: How? ___________________________________
  • Has your defect(s) significantly interfered with your school work, your job, or your ability to function in your role (e.g., as a homemaker)?   Yes   No
  • If yes: How?___________________________________
  • Are there things you avoid because of your defect(s)?   Yes   No
  • If yes: How? __________________________________

How much time do you spend thinking about your defect(s) per day on average? (add up all the time you spend) (circle one)

  • (a) Less than 1 hour a day
  • (b) 1–3 hours a day
  • (c) More than 3 hours a day

On the BDDQ

  • Question 1 establishes whether preoccupation is present.
  • Question 3 determines whether it causes significant distress or impairment in functioning.
  • Question 4 is useful, even though the BDD diagnostic criteria don’t require that the perceived defect be thought about for a specified amount of time a day. If you spend at least 1 hour a day thinking about perceived appearance flaws, the diagnosis is more likely. But if it’s less than an hour a day, in total, this probably isn’t enough time or preoccupation to fulfill criterion 1 for the diagnosis.

A Note of Caution about the BDDQ:

It’s intended to screen for BDD, not diagnose it. What this means is that the BDDQ can suggest that BDD is present but can’t necessarily give a firm diagnosis. The diagnosis is ideally determined by a trained clinician in a face-to-face interview. There are several reasons for this. First, clinical judgment should be used to confirm that:

  1. Answers on the BDDQ (a self-report questionnaire) indicate the presence of a disorder (for example, that any distress or impairment reported on the questionnaire is problematic enough to warrant a psychiatric diagnosis).
  2. The physical defect is nonexistent or slight; and
  3. The appearance concerns aren’t better accounted for by an eating disorder. A “yes” answer to question 2 raises the possibility that an eating disorder might be a more accurate diagnosis.
This post and the material herein was adapted from: 

Phillips, Katharine A. (2009-01-12). Understanding Body Dysmorphic Disorder. Oxford University Press.

Filed Under: Diagnosis of Body Dysmorphic Disorder (BDD), Overcoming Body Dysmorphic Disorder Tagged With: BDD, BDDQ, Body, Body Dysmorphic Disorder, Body Image, diagnosis, How do I know, Psychology, questionairre, test