BDD SUCKS

Overcoming Body Dysmorphic Disorder - My Story of Living With BDD

"It’s not what you look at that matters, it’s what you see."
~ Henry David Thoreau

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This is the Story of My Life Living With Body Dysmorphic Disorder

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The Voices of BDD

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In this series I will be searching for voices. Those voices who suffer from BDD, the ones scattered across the either.

I hear their voices, because they have been mine, they make rounds in my head. Alone, we suffer in self hate, but together our voices can take shape.  Even in disgust, we can find love, and hope and the makings of life. Because if not, we are better off dead.

I JUST WANT TO LIVE BUT IT IS GETTING SO HARD

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It been 2 1/2 years and I don’t think there has been a moment in that time that I have not had the thought and image of my scarred body leave my mind.

There is just so much regret and blame and I have managed to ruin my life, financially, career and in relationships through my uncontrollable crying and constant obsession with my body.

I am learning to keep it inside but it is very hard and I feel like I am suffering with it all the time. It really is a hellish way to live and I would love to find a way to reduce and hopefully end the suffering.

I do not want to kill myself… but I think of it all the time and it is a very painful thought.

I would like to focus on how I can start to see and value myself as more than just a body.

To learn to see my qualities that are more important like compassionate and kind and caring.

I just want to live but it is getting so hard.

I can not escape these horrible thoughts about my body.

I would love to connect and communicate with anyone that can relate and has found things that have helped them.

~ Dede

Books Worth Reading

Shattered Image: My Triumph Over Body Dysmorphic Disorder

This is a wonderful book written by Brian Cuban – The brother of famed billionaire and tech mogul Mark Cuban from The Shark Tank. It is great to finally hear a man’s voice in this space. The book is honest, timely, and gives practical advice that we can all use to overcome BDD. The book is also available in the Kindle Lending library which is how I found it. This is a must-read.
The Broken Mirror: Understanding and Treating Body Dysmorphic Disorder

A fantastic, concise, and essential book to understand the diagnosis and treatment of Body Dysmorphic Disorder. It is a fairly short and easy read, that is full of top-notch information! Material is complete and presented in an organized and useful way. The understanding enabled for both client and therapist is one of the main traits of this book. And the author is obviously committed to the betterment/healing of her clients.
Feeling Good about the Way You Look A Program for Overcoming Body Image Problems

This is a wonderful book!  Written by the Director of the MGH OCD and Related Disorders Program, and Founder of the Body Dysmorphic Disorder Clinic, this book offers individuals suffering from Body Dysmorphic Disorder with critical tools to understand BDD and to bring their disorder under control. The step by step approach detailed in the book is exactly what is needed for patients and clinicians alike. I have enthusiastically been recommending it to all of my clients who have BDD, and to colleagues interested in learning more about it. This book offers new hope to the millions of people worldwide who live with this troubling, but treatable disorder.
The BDD Workbook: Overcome Body Dysmorphic Disorder and End Body Image Obsessions

This workbook really delves into the thought processes of a person who suffers from this exhausting illness. The worksheets and exercises really cause you to challenge the beliefs which have been ingrained in your memory for decades. I would highly recommend this workbook for anyone who is self-directed and able to work through the exercises on their own.

About Stephen

My name is Stephen and I was officially diagnosed with BDD in October of 2012. I have lived with it my whole life. This blog is my story, my shame, and my path to recovery. It starts on Day 1 of my new life. To live, and love myself, to teach others how to do the same, and learn more about what it means to live with body dysmorphic disorder. Here are some resources that I use...