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Overcoming Body Dysmorphic Disorder - My Story of Living With BDD

"It’s not what you look at that matters, it’s what you see."
~ Henry David Thoreau

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This is the Story of My Life Living With Body Dysmorphic Disorder

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One Day at a Time

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Today begins a new day, I have said it 1,000 times.

Today I feel great, tomorrow better, the following day like shit again. Kind of an endless cycle. It has been well over three years and not a day goes by where I don’t ponder my existence living with a scarred face.

Get on with it for God’s sake I tell myself.  Life hasn’t changed a bit, the only thing that has changed was my perception of me in it.

Its quality somehow diminished by this eternal, atrophic flaw.

Oh how it defines me.

This weekend in church I felt something I haven’t in awhile, close to God. It was nice, not sitting there desperate for some type of answer or solution to my menial little problem. Give onto others, let my love and gifts shine onto others, and then the world, and I, will be a better person in it.

Be the vehicle for Gods love, instead of waiting for all the answers.

It seemed so clear and perfect for a bit, then came tomorrow.

Today, was a good day, there are big developments on the horizon and I have made some new connections.  Connections, despite the way my face feels and the way I hate existing in it.

Keep moving on, smile, bring it, share gratitude and grace… I can get through this. One day at a time.

Books Worth Reading

Shattered Image: My Triumph Over Body Dysmorphic Disorder

This is a wonderful book written by Brian Cuban – The brother of famed billionaire and tech mogul Mark Cuban from The Shark Tank. It is great to finally hear a man’s voice in this space. The book is honest, timely, and gives practical advice that we can all use to overcome BDD. The book is also available in the Kindle Lending library which is how I found it. This is a must-read.
The Broken Mirror: Understanding and Treating Body Dysmorphic Disorder

A fantastic, concise, and essential book to understand the diagnosis and treatment of Body Dysmorphic Disorder. It is a fairly short and easy read, that is full of top-notch information! Material is complete and presented in an organized and useful way. The understanding enabled for both client and therapist is one of the main traits of this book. And the author is obviously committed to the betterment/healing of her clients.
Feeling Good about the Way You Look A Program for Overcoming Body Image Problems

This is a wonderful book!  Written by the Director of the MGH OCD and Related Disorders Program, and Founder of the Body Dysmorphic Disorder Clinic, this book offers individuals suffering from Body Dysmorphic Disorder with critical tools to understand BDD and to bring their disorder under control. The step by step approach detailed in the book is exactly what is needed for patients and clinicians alike. I have enthusiastically been recommending it to all of my clients who have BDD, and to colleagues interested in learning more about it. This book offers new hope to the millions of people worldwide who live with this troubling, but treatable disorder.
The BDD Workbook: Overcome Body Dysmorphic Disorder and End Body Image Obsessions

This workbook really delves into the thought processes of a person who suffers from this exhausting illness. The worksheets and exercises really cause you to challenge the beliefs which have been ingrained in your memory for decades. I would highly recommend this workbook for anyone who is self-directed and able to work through the exercises on their own.

About Stephen

My name is Stephen and I was officially diagnosed with BDD in October of 2012. I have lived with it my whole life. This blog is my story, my shame, and my path to recovery. It starts on Day 1 of my new life. To live, and love myself, to teach others how to do the same, and learn more about what it means to live with body dysmorphic disorder. Here are some resources that I use...

Comments

  1. Danni says

    Reading your blog is like reading my own diary. Thank you for sharing. It makes me feel less alone.
    I hope you’re having a good day!!

    • Stephen says

      Hi Danni, it is good to know that we are all in this together! Hang in there, thanks so much for your comment, and I hope you are having a wonderful day as well!

      – Stephen