BDD SUCKS

Overcoming Body Dysmorphic Disorder - My Story of Living With BDD

"It’s not what you look at that matters, it’s what you see."
~ Henry David Thoreau

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This is the Story of My Life Living With Body Dysmorphic Disorder

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My List of Lies

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  • I am worth nothing if my image is flawed
  • People will not like me if my image is flawed
  • People only care about my appearance
  • People will stare at me and feel disgust when they spend time with me
  • I look scary because of my scar
  • I look angry or “evil” because of my scar
  • I look disfigured because of my scar and this makes me unlovable
  • I am unlovable
  • I need to be afraid
  • People don’t want to associate with me because of my appearance
  • My appearance is monstrous
  • My appearance is grossly abnormal
  • Kids will be afraid of me because of the way I look
  • My children won’t want to associate with me because of the way I look
  • I am ugly
  • I am disgusting
  • I am worthless
  • I am better off dead

Believe it or not these thoughts are all part of who I used to be… I say used to be because in 2014 my goal is to let this list (which is actively working in my mind as I write) perish in the new year. I will make my new list tomorrow. One that explains my list of truths. The one I can hold up when the lies threaten to take over. These are lies, they may not always seem like it but I know they are. They hold me back, they take away from my joy, they distract from the goal… Love and care for others, be present, love ourselves, be kind to others and ourselves. Life is better in this mental space.

BDD, is not only a pack of lies, it is a distraction from the wonder and beauty of life! What a WASTE!

Books Worth Reading

Shattered Image: My Triumph Over Body Dysmorphic Disorder

This is a wonderful book written by Brian Cuban – The brother of famed billionaire and tech mogul Mark Cuban from The Shark Tank. It is great to finally hear a man’s voice in this space. The book is honest, timely, and gives practical advice that we can all use to overcome BDD. The book is also available in the Kindle Lending library which is how I found it. This is a must-read.
The Broken Mirror: Understanding and Treating Body Dysmorphic Disorder

A fantastic, concise, and essential book to understand the diagnosis and treatment of Body Dysmorphic Disorder. It is a fairly short and easy read, that is full of top-notch information! Material is complete and presented in an organized and useful way. The understanding enabled for both client and therapist is one of the main traits of this book. And the author is obviously committed to the betterment/healing of her clients.
Feeling Good about the Way You Look A Program for Overcoming Body Image Problems

This is a wonderful book!  Written by the Director of the MGH OCD and Related Disorders Program, and Founder of the Body Dysmorphic Disorder Clinic, this book offers individuals suffering from Body Dysmorphic Disorder with critical tools to understand BDD and to bring their disorder under control. The step by step approach detailed in the book is exactly what is needed for patients and clinicians alike. I have enthusiastically been recommending it to all of my clients who have BDD, and to colleagues interested in learning more about it. This book offers new hope to the millions of people worldwide who live with this troubling, but treatable disorder.
The BDD Workbook: Overcome Body Dysmorphic Disorder and End Body Image Obsessions

This workbook really delves into the thought processes of a person who suffers from this exhausting illness. The worksheets and exercises really cause you to challenge the beliefs which have been ingrained in your memory for decades. I would highly recommend this workbook for anyone who is self-directed and able to work through the exercises on their own.

About Stephen

My name is Stephen and I was officially diagnosed with BDD in October of 2012. I have lived with it my whole life. This blog is my story, my shame, and my path to recovery. It starts on Day 1 of my new life. To live, and love myself, to teach others how to do the same, and learn more about what it means to live with body dysmorphic disorder. Here are some resources that I use...