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Overcoming Body Dysmorphic Disorder - My Story of Living With BDD

"It’s not what you look at that matters, it’s what you see."
~ Henry David Thoreau

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This is the Story of My Life Living With Body Dysmorphic Disorder

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Into The Ether

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I sit here, in the either, too late to be writing but it is too early to go to bed.

Around and around in an infinite loop goes my mind.

I do not know what this year will bring, all I know is that it has to be better.

Leaving my job, leaving our friends and family behind to travel the world.

Is this an escape from my BDD?

Does it really matter what I am running from.

I am 36 and I feel the world like a breeze in my hair, here for one glorious moment and gone the next.

I could rationalize that any activity I do today is no better or worse than any other in the long scheme of things, and this is true.

But some activities require courage, they demand breaking apart from the norm.

All of which may not even matter, but then if that is the case nothing matters, and if that is the case stop reading and move on.

When Creativity Stalls

I can’t stop creating, it is a revolving door, and once one creation has hit the wall it is time for me to move on.

My creation at my current job has run it’s course. There is nowhere else for it to go.

My patients are a beautiful picture in my canvas. Their lives will move on with or without me, they will find a path to better health, and I will also. It may be away from healthcare for now. Away from it all.

I need to heal, and my family has agreed to go along for the ride.

We all need to heal. And grow and prosper and move on.

What a glorious adventure indeed!

Books Worth Reading

Shattered Image: My Triumph Over Body Dysmorphic Disorder

This is a wonderful book written by Brian Cuban – The brother of famed billionaire and tech mogul Mark Cuban from The Shark Tank. It is great to finally hear a man’s voice in this space. The book is honest, timely, and gives practical advice that we can all use to overcome BDD. The book is also available in the Kindle Lending library which is how I found it. This is a must-read.
The Broken Mirror: Understanding and Treating Body Dysmorphic Disorder

A fantastic, concise, and essential book to understand the diagnosis and treatment of Body Dysmorphic Disorder. It is a fairly short and easy read, that is full of top-notch information! Material is complete and presented in an organized and useful way. The understanding enabled for both client and therapist is one of the main traits of this book. And the author is obviously committed to the betterment/healing of her clients.
Feeling Good about the Way You Look A Program for Overcoming Body Image Problems

This is a wonderful book!  Written by the Director of the MGH OCD and Related Disorders Program, and Founder of the Body Dysmorphic Disorder Clinic, this book offers individuals suffering from Body Dysmorphic Disorder with critical tools to understand BDD and to bring their disorder under control. The step by step approach detailed in the book is exactly what is needed for patients and clinicians alike. I have enthusiastically been recommending it to all of my clients who have BDD, and to colleagues interested in learning more about it. This book offers new hope to the millions of people worldwide who live with this troubling, but treatable disorder.
The BDD Workbook: Overcome Body Dysmorphic Disorder and End Body Image Obsessions

This workbook really delves into the thought processes of a person who suffers from this exhausting illness. The worksheets and exercises really cause you to challenge the beliefs which have been ingrained in your memory for decades. I would highly recommend this workbook for anyone who is self-directed and able to work through the exercises on their own.

About Stephen

My name is Stephen and I was officially diagnosed with BDD in October of 2012. I have lived with it my whole life. This blog is my story, my shame, and my path to recovery. It starts on Day 1 of my new life. To live, and love myself, to teach others how to do the same, and learn more about what it means to live with body dysmorphic disorder. Here are some resources that I use...