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Overcoming Body Dysmorphic Disorder - My Story of Living With BDD

"It’s not what you look at that matters, it’s what you see."
~ Henry David Thoreau

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This is the Story of My Life Living With Body Dysmorphic Disorder

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How Family Can Help – Body Dysmorphic Disorder – A Letter From My Wife

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Hug LetterI will wait for you. I love you. Right now you are on a journey that only you can traverse. I want to be your partner in this and try as I may.

I will always be doing the wrong thing most of the time. This doesn’t mean I’ll give up. It means I will do my best to let you go so you can come back, because you are worth waiting for. I look into your eyes and I hurt for you and want to find you. Somewhere you are still there  whether you believe it or not.

We will wait for you to come back from the depths and grips of the trench you are in. We will love all of you,  yes even your face and your scar. To me it’s just a mark showing the love of life you have, the love of the ocean, the love of peace surfing can bring you.

It hurts to know that something you loved so much, something that sometimes was the only solace in your life could scar you for life; inside and out.

Don’t let it do that to you. Sometimes best friends fight and it does leave a scar. We are always stronger once we come up for air from the depths of despair, for that is life. Your mental illness does not have to define you or chain you down.

I truly believe God loves you and is crying for you. You are my partner, lover, friend, father to my children and my other soul I need to enjoy the  rest of my life with.

Yes, I know sometimes you feel I’d be better off without you, and yes sometimes I have felt the same in my depths of depression. But believe me, I would not. A giant hole will be left there, unable to fill but only to put a band-aid over each day.

You hurt, I hurt, but I know you can be happy again.

I will wait for you. I love you and all of you.

Your loving wife and partner for eternity,

Wendy

Books Worth Reading

Shattered Image: My Triumph Over Body Dysmorphic Disorder

This is a wonderful book written by Brian Cuban – The brother of famed billionaire and tech mogul Mark Cuban from The Shark Tank. It is great to finally hear a man’s voice in this space. The book is honest, timely, and gives practical advice that we can all use to overcome BDD. The book is also available in the Kindle Lending library which is how I found it. This is a must-read.
The Broken Mirror: Understanding and Treating Body Dysmorphic Disorder

A fantastic, concise, and essential book to understand the diagnosis and treatment of Body Dysmorphic Disorder. It is a fairly short and easy read, that is full of top-notch information! Material is complete and presented in an organized and useful way. The understanding enabled for both client and therapist is one of the main traits of this book. And the author is obviously committed to the betterment/healing of her clients.
Feeling Good about the Way You Look A Program for Overcoming Body Image Problems

This is a wonderful book!  Written by the Director of the MGH OCD and Related Disorders Program, and Founder of the Body Dysmorphic Disorder Clinic, this book offers individuals suffering from Body Dysmorphic Disorder with critical tools to understand BDD and to bring their disorder under control. The step by step approach detailed in the book is exactly what is needed for patients and clinicians alike. I have enthusiastically been recommending it to all of my clients who have BDD, and to colleagues interested in learning more about it. This book offers new hope to the millions of people worldwide who live with this troubling, but treatable disorder.
The BDD Workbook: Overcome Body Dysmorphic Disorder and End Body Image Obsessions

This workbook really delves into the thought processes of a person who suffers from this exhausting illness. The worksheets and exercises really cause you to challenge the beliefs which have been ingrained in your memory for decades. I would highly recommend this workbook for anyone who is self-directed and able to work through the exercises on their own.

About Stephen

My name is Stephen and I was officially diagnosed with BDD in October of 2012. I have lived with it my whole life. This blog is my story, my shame, and my path to recovery. It starts on Day 1 of my new life. To live, and love myself, to teach others how to do the same, and learn more about what it means to live with body dysmorphic disorder. Here are some resources that I use...