In My Room
There were several bathrooms on my college campus that I would frequent the most.
I preferred the handicap restrooms as I could lock the door. In here I could fuel my compulsion without the fear of others noticing.
I remember walking out of the bathroom, and within seconds returning, to deconstruct my face again. Only when I was looking closely at my imperfections and hating on myself, was I free. It is bizarre, maybe it became like cutting in a way. In the pain I could feel something, even if it was the feeling of losing my mind.
With each new class I would find a corresponding place on campus to indulge this compulsion. These compulsions would reveal themselves from time to time in my art and in my music. I remember taking an an intro to drawinng class in college, I drew a large black and white charcoal image of an anorexic woman. I got an A+. My only A+.
Although I never particularly understood what it was about this work my teacher liked so much, it is obvious to me now. The best art is an expression of our soul, and this one was honest, possibly my first truly honest piece of work.
his is a wonderful book! Written by the Director of the MGH OCD and Related Disorders Program, and Founder of the Body Dysmorphic Disorder Clinic, this book offers individuals suffering from Body Dysmorphic Disorder with critical tools to understand BDD and to bring their disorder under control. The step by step approach detailed in the book is exactly what is needed for patients and clinicians alike. I have enthusiastically been recommending it to all of my clients who have BDD, and to colleagues interested in learning more about it. This book offers new hope to the millions of people worldwide who live with this troubling, but treatable disorder.
