Wide awake, 7 am I have been waking up early on the road.
Finally, made it out of the door though to write, usually I just lie awake in the bed thinking about all the words I should be writing.
Thoughts flow kindly in the morning, then in the afternoon the river of words runs dry.
Even the way I feel changes, I wake with a full plate of optimism, then at night it fades
Giving way to anxiety and thoughts of how much I hate the way my face looks and how I feel in it.
But each day is a new day, and I thrive off of this knowledge.
I know deep down that other people’s opinions are meaningless.
The way I feel about myself is what matters most.
So I hold onto this, knowing that a feeling of self-confidence is tangible, real and always within my reach if I choose to make it a reality.
This morning I feel the biopsy scar on my nose.
But I am in South Africa, I have a full day of adventure.
Today I feel the anxiety of the open road, and the hope that is holds.
Today I am grateful for this chance to live and embrace life.
The scars and the feelings of inadequacy I hold onto are just distractions.
Still though, I struggle to let them go.