Intrigued by a scene of Tom Cruise disfigured after a car accident, I paid $2.99 to rent Vanilla Sky on Amazon Prime.
In the movie, Tom Cruise portrays a rich entitled playboy who inherited his father’s multi-million dollar business and is disfigured in a car accident.
Because his top-notch team of surgeons cannot reconstruct his face he is provided with a “facial prosthesis” (i.e a mask) to wear while he learns to accept his new appearance.
I could relate, after my facial laceration, I wore a facial prosthesis in the form of a bandaid for several weeks.
I would hesitate to pull it off, and when I had it on my cheek I felt protected and safe.
From this standpoint it made sense, but the reaction of course to Tom and his mask is understandable.
Expressionless, yet flawless, the mask does very little except protect his ego
And sure enough, when Tom removes it, he is on the receiving end of taunts, pity, and free shots of tequila.
It doesn’t help that the disfigurement turns him into an A+ rated ass-hole.
It isn’t the scar that makes him mean, angry and hateful. It is his reaction to his circumstances.
Regardless, I wanted so much to have a facial prosthesis.
As the movie progresses Tom discovers that his team of surgeons has a new incredible procedure that will render him scar-free.
He takes the “purple pill” and awakes perfectly reconstructed… He has a lot of wonderful sex with his partner “Sofia” played by Penelope Cruz. His life becomes full again, he is happy, he is with friends, he is out and about. He receives the respect and envy of his colleagues.
I won’t give away the ending, but the movie makes a point… Disfigured, Tom’s life is a living hell, yet when the scars are gone his life is complete.
This is the fear many of us suffer with every day as we awake to our BDD
There is a bathroom scene in the movie that I live every day. After my injury I would wake at night, turn on the light and pray that it was all a bad dream. Which of course it was not… Unlike Tom in Vanilla Sky, I have to find a way to live, make a life with my disfigurement.
With my BDD this is so much harder because now I do have something to obsess about, to identify as the root cause of my pain and suffering and social anxiety.
For a large part of the movie, I was hoping that the medical team had played a mind trick on Tom, convincing him that he wasn’t actually scarred, hacking his mirrors, and showing that disfigurement is all in the mind. Proving, once and for all, that how we perceive our face matters more than what we actually look like.
This would have been a better take-home message from the movie.
But Vanilla Sky falls short in this regard, and although it is a thoughtful critique, the movie simply reinforces many of the stereotypes that make me want a facial prosthesis in the first place.
his is a wonderful book! Written by the Director of the MGH OCD and Related Disorders Program, and Founder of the Body Dysmorphic Disorder Clinic, this book offers individuals suffering from Body Dysmorphic Disorder with critical tools to understand BDD and to bring their disorder under control. The step by step approach detailed in the book is exactly what is needed for patients and clinicians alike. I have enthusiastically been recommending it to all of my clients who have BDD, and to colleagues interested in learning more about it. This book offers new hope to the millions of people worldwide who live with this troubling, but treatable disorder.
My forehead is scarred and my prosthetic is a hat and/or hair. Life is hell when you have a facial difference. Peace be with you.
I am convinced that this “hell” is of our own making. Emerging back into the world I am pleased to find that those who don’t know me give it a glance and move on and after a while those that do know me just get used to it and forget it’s there. Like most things the importance of it will be dictated by the freedom we give it to control our lives. If we show compassion and love to one another we can channel all the self hate and disgust into a force for good and more love. Eventually we can get around to adding ourselves to the list of those worthy of such respect.
good review of vanilla skies.
just say a daughter of olivia newton john on show and how she overcame bdd and eating disorder
funny she is an advocate for cbd which is a componenet of mj for ailments
have you tried it?
hy . i have just found your blog . reading the start from 2012 page 19*
till the page one .( 5 years and ur tealling ur story with bdd ). for me .im a guy from morooco not so good in english . but i can handle my self a little bit .i started suffering from this illness at the age of 16 and now im 20 and still suffer (WORRYING ABOUT THE SHAPE OF MY NOSE . SKIN . THE DARK CIRCLES UNDER MY EYES .SOMETIMES EVEN THE SHAPE OF HEAD WAS A CONCERN TO ME ) .no familly support unlike you . just me all alone in my own dealing with this illness . wich cost me the lost of 3 years of my eduction cuzing me (a severe depresion .suicidal thoughts .isolation .lonelines and the list goes on) . till today im still dealing with Symptoms of that devil that eating me inside and killing me slowly . i fell like a death walking . i spend more than 90 % of the day checking myself in the mirror.it’s something very hard to deal with and very exhausting both physically and mentally..especially when u get no support from the outstage or family . and EVEN IF THEY DID .NO ONE ACTUALLY CAN HELP IT WAS A WAR BETWEEN ME AND MYSELF i feel like i’m killing myself by myself . i fell i’m the enemy of myself . i feel that the solution is the problem and the problem is the solution .should i love my self ? or hate myself ?cuz in the both cases i’m not feeling ok .im really confused about my life and feeling so broke down . i lost 3 years of my life and my education for nothing . when i supposed to enjoy my teenage years i was suffering with self instead .now that i wake up my eyes . i fell like a loser and failure to let that devil (bdd) ruin 3 years of my life . now im trying so hard to move on with myself and let go .but the demon of the past is holding me back everytime i try to step my feet forward .REMINDING ME OF ALL THOSE HEARTBROKEN MOMENTS .ALL THAT PAIN AND MISERY .WE ALL HEAR OF THE PAIN AND THE GRIEF CAUSED BY A BREAK UP . OR THE LOSS OF A LOVED ONE . BUT FOR ME THAT WASN’T THE CASE . ITS WASNT BREAK UP .IT WASN’T A LOSS . IT WAS FIGHTING MYSELF . my own body .
I’M CONSIDERING MYSELF AS A LUCKY PERSON TODAY TO FOUND YOUR BLOG AND TELLING THE STORY OF YOUR JOURNEY WITH BDD (body dysmorphic disorder) which described every edge and side of what i was dealing with .I FEEL LIKE YOU’RE DESCRIBING EXACTLY WHAT I WAS DEALING WITH . YOUR JUST TILLING MY STORY . I FELT EVERY PART .
NOW IN MY WAY OF HEALING AND GET OUT OF THIS . I CAN FEEL IT . I’M IN WAY TO HEAL AND FEEL OK ABOUT MYSELF . CUZ I SPENT ALL THE TIME READING HELPING BOOKS ABOUT THAT MATTER AND COMMITED MY WORD TO STOP THIS MESS IN MY LIFE .
BUT THE PROBLEM STILL .THE PAIN AND THE NIGHTMARE OF THOSE PAST 3 YEARS ARE STILL WALKING AROUND . WAITING THE PERFECT TIME TO GET ME AGAIN TO BOKE ME AND LET ME DOWN . LEAVING ME STUUGLE WITH THE WAVES OF THE PAST.
IM HERE WRITING TO YOU . SEEKING FOR HELP AND ADVICES THAT CAN LEAD ME FOR THE RIGHT WAY .YOUR STORY HAS TOUCHED ME AND FELT THE SOME WAY U DID . SO I THINK U ARE MORE WISDOM, THAN I DO . THATS WHY IM WRITING FOR U IN HOPE U CAN HELP ME TO GET OUT OF THIS .
AGAIN THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR UR COURAGE TO SHARE YOUR STORY AND YOUR JOURNEY WITH (BDD) . I REALLY APPRECIATE THAT . I HOPE U READ MY STORY . THANK FOR THE INTREST AND HOPE GET AN ANSWeR FROM YOU SOON .WISH YOU ALL THE BEST AND success IN LIFE .