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Overcoming Body Dysmorphic Disorder - My Story of Living With BDD

"It’s not what you look at that matters, it’s what you see."
~ Henry David Thoreau

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This is the Story of My Life Living With Body Dysmorphic Disorder

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Tracing Fingers Over My Lovers Scars

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Seal’s scars are from a condition called discoid Lupus. Personally, I think they are beautiful

This is an email I received from blog reader “Jade”…

I have been reading your archives because I’m looking for validation in my emotions as I have BDD.

The main reason for my message to you is to tell you my perception of your scar.

I know you don’t like people to comment on your scar and I know it’s not helpful. However, I’m wondering if anyone has ever had the courage to say how they feel about it.

I saw your photo of your scar and I thought it was lovely.

Not because I wish scars were lovely, but as a teenager, most of my boyfriends had acne and acne scarring and I believe them to be attractive.

However, I don’t believe this of myself.

I also wanted to tell you a story about a girl. When someone asked her what she loved most about her lovers, she replied “tracing my fingers over my lover’s scars.”

I truly believe scars are beautiful and we are conditioned by society to be ashamed of them.

Some cultures scar their faces on purpose because it’s deemed attractive.

Perceptions

I believe it’s about perception.

One thing that has helped me (along with this list of books) is The Compassionate Mind: A New Approach to Life’s Challenges by Paul Gilbert.

I admire your courage to let people see you, I hope to be like you one day.

I believe the key to overcoming BDD is not changing our faces and bodies nor realizing others like or don’t care about our appearance.

But to have self-worth that isn’t reliant on others perception.

And to truly have compassion for those who have negative thoughts about others and us.

And overall not care what anybody thinks about our appearance or us in general.

To be compassionate with ourselves.

Anyone who is critical and cruel isn’t something I admire or want to take seriously.

I hope the little that has helped me may provoke thought in you.

Thank you for sharing your experience with us

– Jade

Thank you, Jade, your email meant the world to me and I know it will also give courage to others as it has to me. 

Books Worth Reading

Shattered Image: My Triumph Over Body Dysmorphic Disorder

This is a wonderful book written by Brian Cuban – The brother of famed billionaire and tech mogul Mark Cuban from The Shark Tank. It is great to finally hear a man’s voice in this space. The book is honest, timely, and gives practical advice that we can all use to overcome BDD. The book is also available in the Kindle Lending library which is how I found it. This is a must-read.
The Broken Mirror: Understanding and Treating Body Dysmorphic Disorder

A fantastic, concise, and essential book to understand the diagnosis and treatment of Body Dysmorphic Disorder. It is a fairly short and easy read, that is full of top-notch information! Material is complete and presented in an organized and useful way. The understanding enabled for both client and therapist is one of the main traits of this book. And the author is obviously committed to the betterment/healing of her clients.
Feeling Good about the Way You Look A Program for Overcoming Body Image Problems

This is a wonderful book!  Written by the Director of the MGH OCD and Related Disorders Program, and Founder of the Body Dysmorphic Disorder Clinic, this book offers individuals suffering from Body Dysmorphic Disorder with critical tools to understand BDD and to bring their disorder under control. The step by step approach detailed in the book is exactly what is needed for patients and clinicians alike. I have enthusiastically been recommending it to all of my clients who have BDD, and to colleagues interested in learning more about it. This book offers new hope to the millions of people worldwide who live with this troubling, but treatable disorder.
The BDD Workbook: Overcome Body Dysmorphic Disorder and End Body Image Obsessions

This workbook really delves into the thought processes of a person who suffers from this exhausting illness. The worksheets and exercises really cause you to challenge the beliefs which have been ingrained in your memory for decades. I would highly recommend this workbook for anyone who is self-directed and able to work through the exercises on their own.

About Stephen

My name is Stephen and I was officially diagnosed with BDD in October of 2012. I have lived with it my whole life. This blog is my story, my shame, and my path to recovery. It starts on Day 1 of my new life. To live, and love myself, to teach others how to do the same, and learn more about what it means to live with body dysmorphic disorder. Here are some resources that I use...